Wednesday, August 10, 2005

signed "maladjusted in madison"

aren't we wisconites romantic...and a little deranged? yes.

Man Says He Got Idea to Kidnap Wife from Dr. Phil
PORT WASHINGTON, Wis. (AP) Aug 10, 2005 10:15am
-- A Wisconsin man says he wanted someone to kidnap his wife just to scare her, and he got the idea from watching Dr. Phil. His attorney says Ronald Schueller thought his estranged wife needed a scare "so she would see the error of her ways. "He's accused of trying to hire someone to knock his wife unconscious and lock her in the truck of a car. Authorities say it never happened because the man Schueller tried to hire was actually an undercover sheriff's deputy.

Investigators say Schueller came up with the idea after "Dr. Phil" said on his talk show that people sometimes need "a good scare" to snap them out of their delusions.

Schueller has been sentenced to six months in jail and ordered to undergo mental health counseling. He's also been told to have no contact with his wife, who filed for divorce last year.

Copyright 2005 Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.

what's sad is that i can for the most part sympathize with this guy. if i really wanted to get back together with my estranged wife and thought a non-violent ride in a trunk might woo her my way, i'd do it.

wait, no i wouldn't! i'd think about it but i would definitely not do it. i mean i've thought about being kidnapped ... ok i've never thought about being kidnapped (although i think my mother has because of that one horrible time she uttered the words "everyone has fantasies, some girls even fantasize about rape" la la la i cannot hear you) but i do sometimes think about getting non-fatally hit by an SUV --namely everytime i cross the intersection of wabash and huron -- and what that might do in terms of rekindling old flames. perhaps it's my female sensibility that has me considering scenarios where i am the victim, whereas i can't quite fathom thinking it appropriate for me to arrange to victimize someone else in order to get what i want.

i'm also a girl that wouldn't call someone who wasn't interested in me 5-20 subsequent times after he clearly told me he never ever wanted to date me. or send them a postcard two years later from a foreign country, especially if we only dated for a week. i understand the impetus, totally, but why would you have the nerve and the complete and utter lack of pride or perhaps i should say perception?

i clearly have no pride, i've sent in a request to appear on a TLC Show for crimety's sake. but even if i've dated someone for years, if i think my contacting them after we break up is going to make them think ill of me or personally upset, first i feel like vomitting and sobbing and then i do everything in my power to will my mouth shut as much as it breaks my heart to do so.

maybe i just need to hire someone with a very large trunk for a long weekend and move the fuck on. now i finally understand what closure means - it's a restraining order!