later that night, the high hats grow in numbers!
we were the baddest gang in town for one night, but now it's time for something even scarier! this marks the official end of scary disclosure week. it's been great and i think i will definitely be a more reliable blogger henceforth. i feel safe in saying once a week. but to provide a fittingly stunning conclusion to sweepsweek, i've decided to do something a little scary and a little special.
today's special was also a television show during my formative years (1981-1987). it was in fact my favorite childhood show of all time. i will at some point in the future explore my fondness for movies, shows and books about mannequins come to life. for now, my point is served by mentioning that i loved muffy and muffy loved cheese and i love cheese and this is most likely why my leg is not broken (also note sam has a cat named penelope). today's special was canadian, and speaking of broken...
i have a new friend, his name is ed. ed is funny, this is demonstrated by his saying the following: "i was concerned though that you saw my red button....and that it was actually a red wall with a red circle and a line through it." you might not get it, but trust me that it is brilliant. ed has someone that he wants back, and i hope that he gets her and that she treats him better too. in my humble opinion, people do not tell each other often enough they are being idiots when they are walking away from something good. we tell each other this when we are holding onto something bad or someone who doesn't want to be held onto, but who's there on the other side saying "hey don't be a dingbat, look at what you've got!" wendy, that's who. so girl, you should think. ed has some work to do, but i think he's willing to try. people who try are in my good books.
ed is imperfect, as we are all. he had a zine made about him to immortalize his transgressions. it is called "goodbye ed" and the author has a cat named wendy. if you read "goodbye ed" and your name is wendy you might feel very odd when the narrator remarks mid-zine "wendy, whatever should i do?". you might scream out, "holy heck, this zine is talking to me!". you might think it's like that time in the voyage of the dawn treader (your favorite in the series) when the painting comes to life, or like that time when you were reading house of leaves (your favorite novel to date) and you noticed three times that "pieces" was substituted for "pisces" and you felt the author?narrator?house? wanted to tear your piscean self to pieces*, or like that time in south park when cartman pitches the idea for the crab people...alright that last instance isn't relevant, it just allows me to link to metareference and to segue into a discussion of a certain cancer.
"Cancer is a class of diseases characterized by uncontrolled cell division and
the ability of these cells to invade other tissues, either by direct growth into
adjacent tissue (invasion) or by migration of cells to distant sites..."
everyone who is smarter than i might know that cancer is actually the same basic disease whereever it strikes a body and that we call cancers "heart cancer" or "breast cancer" simply on the basis of where the disease is first discovered and diagnosed in the body. i learned this when i researched cancer after precancerous cells appeared simultaneously in my dojo and under my armpit.
i've been obsessed with a cancer for many years, and some new cancers too that strike up the same old disease. it's like the time my sophomore year of college when i kept getting stung by bees. that was the only year of my life i was ever stung by a bee and it happened three times over a couple of months. each time i was stung anew, the site of the old sting would react as well leaving a track of swollen parts. i welcome a medical explanation or refutation of this phenomena.
last night i spoke for forty minutes with a cab driver while sitting outside of my house after a day visiting with ed. i saved $4 on the fare as a result of sharing banter. in my case, i guess talk does come cheap. the conversations of the day and evening left me with a complicated mix of emotions. ed's discussion of his obsession of course encouraged me to think of my own. then i met a cab driver who insisted post-dialogue, that i was "smart, hot, a role model for all the women of chicago." i asked him to share this PSA with the men of chicago, or of the world (dum dum dum). keep in mind this cab driver thinks that hillary clinton is the hottest woman alive. the cab driver was nice and he asked me out. i was not interested. good thing too as he doesn't believe in love or marriage. i do.
the cabbie, a non-native speaker, endeared himself to me completely when he talked about how "putting all his eggs in one basket" really hurt him when "things started to go south" in that relationship. i love idioms you might notice. he said he never wanted to be hurt like that again. it seems i have heard this information from men before. i have also heard from men, quite a few men, that the only woman they've ever really loved was someone who was 1) suicidal/really screwed up/abused/abusing drugs, and 2) sexually unresponsive. interesting. it seems i have so little hope for love on so many counts. i'm not bitter at the moment, i just do wonder sometimes if i am too keen on being happy (note not necessarily happy, but aspiring to it), healthy (in terms of sex at least, i should eat less hotdogs and jump around more), and an equal in economic, intellectual and emotional wealth. rubbish, i am not paying attention to the right sorts i presume.
more important than that, as i can't really help being who i am and i don't think it seems at all smart to try to be more screwy, i don't want to be someone who stops trying because i've been hurt. i have been hurt 4.5 times now. i have little inclination at the moment to get to know more about people because i am scared. someday i need to get over this. in the meantime, i will let other people get to know all about me...because scary disclosure "week" was ONLY THE BEGINNING.
muhahahahahahaha! happy halloween,bonhomies.
*if you read the wiki on house of leaves, you'll notice under "typographical and spelling errors" that the pisces mistake is listed and that it does indeed occur three times. when i wrote my comment above i had not yet searched wikipedia for the novel but recalled the three references from memory. they honestly scared the shit out of me. i also from memory recall the inclusion of the definition of uncanny.