differ
c.1375, from O.Fr. diferer, from L. differre "to set apart, differ," from dis- "away from" ferre "carry" (see infer). Two senses that were present in L. have gone separate ways in Eng. since c.1500 with defer (transitive) and differ (intransitive).in 30 minutes i imagine things will be different.
i have a headache, i have taken 4 ibuprofen, i expect to feel relief in one half of an hour. generally i feel a bit postcoital at the break of a headache. there is something simple and delicious about the end of pain to my brain. i am at work on a saturday in an airless and warm office, this might mitigate my sense of euphoria. if it was cooler outside i might lay down with a book in the grass and nap but there is too much light and heat today for the likes of me.
if i could be doing something differently right now, i would be:
- more comfortable in my skin so i could wear just it
- sitting inside of a barrel on the underside of a floating dock looking at the sun go down while the lake licks my back
- on a ferry ride, shyly sharing stories with a boy who is falling in love, starting the best of my life
- holding hands
- alone in a new city, living quietly this time
- climbing a tree
- feeling strong hands cup my head and thumb my neck
- playing tetherball
- talking to someone every day until time starts to pass and that saturday morning spent cradled in my father's arms watching cartoons feels like yesterday
life should not be a holding pattern, spent waiting for the pain to subside. i need some fresh air.
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